string can phone

If, in the winter of your discontent, the juice of the oriental poppy does not sate your jaded quest for amusement, perhaps a jaunt to the gentle arcadias of yore will quench your thirst.

The editors make no (or very close to no) apology for the vast mucilage of mixed, mashed-up and mutilated metaphors, speech, diction and time-periods in the preceding sentence.